Why We Need Failure

10:59 AM

I once heard someone say that if you want to see something you've never seen before, you have to do something you've never done before. That really spoke to me. In my life, this has proven to be true time and time again.

But what about when you've done something you've never done before, and it's failed? Miserably.

For example, I tried pork curry katsu one time because a lot of bloggers/vloggers I follow on social media eat it often. They make it look soooooo good in their instagram posts and youtube videos. Once I went to a restaurant that had it on the menu, I jumped at the opportunity to try it. This restaurant is an upscale, Asian fusion place with really good reviews so I thought I was in good hands. Wrong. Within 6 hours of eating the pork, I was in a fetal position on the floor, vomiting my guts out. Oh, and did I mention that the floor I was on was the floor of a plane? Yeah...needless to say, I know what it is to vomit on someone thousands of miles above sea level. PSA: It's not pleasant.

This is a funny (well, now it's funny months later) example of trying something new and it going horribly wrong. But, what about the moments that aren't so humorous? What about when trying something new includes sacrifice? What about when you lose friends, lose sleep, and lose income? What about when people tell you you're crazy for trying? 

Even worse, what about when you try and you fail
Failure is going to happen sometimes when you try new things. Failure is going to hurt. Failure is going to make you feel inadequate, unworthy, and unsatisfied. Furthermore, you may fail more times than you win, which really sucks. So, how do you bounce back from losing?

Baby girl, let me be the first to tell you from experience:

Failure is the prelude to success.

Failure is necessary to true success just as much as having nothing is necessary for hope. Think about it, you usually don't hope for what you already have. But, we don't look at hope as negative, do we? The same goes for failure. Failing sucks, but it often is the thing that pushes you to try again and go harder next time. 

I failed at marriage the first time around, but I learned so much. I grew so much. And now, I have a better understanding of what it takes to be in a committed relationship and I'm so happy with my love now. 

I failed at dieting many times. My weight has fluctuated throughout my life so much that I have the physical scars to prove it. But failing at eating well has led me to learning what's best for my body. 

I failed at finding my purpose by throwing myself into uncomfortable positions that left me broke and jobless. But, now I know what I'm not meant to be doing from those failures.

I'm not saying that failure will be fun. It sucks. It sucks more than I could ever explain. But it often leads to your greatest triumphs and your greatest self-discoveries.

I say all of this to suggest that whatever dreams you have, whatever hope, whatever gift, whatever talent you hide:

Your goals are valid. Your dreams are valid. You are valid.

So you tried and failed? Good.
*Disclaimer: It ain't gonna feel good when you fail

When you fail, take the time you need to heal. And during that time, know that you will most likely feel doubt, fear, loneliness, regret, shame. Please know that those feelings are okay. Getting out of those feelings will be hard, but don't let anyone tell you that you're wrong for feeling them. Feel what you need to feel in order to truly heal. Then get up, wipe those tears, wash your face, stand tall, and try again.

You are worth every failure to get to your success.

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