That Girl

That girl...
She held her head high in order to hide
The emptiness she felt inside.
Years of self hatred and self neglect
It caught up to her
That girl... 

That girl was trapped in the things of the past
The lies she was told at the tender age of seven
The man who approached her at the age of 12
The boy who stole from her at the age of 16
The man she pledged her life to in darkness and deceit
That girl... 

That girl believed the love she received was the love she deserved
There was nothing better for her
She accepted pain as the natural way of life
That girl... 

That girl was afraid of her own shadow
Afraid to sleep with the lights off
Afraid that God wouldn't love her, couldn't love her
Because look at her...
Look at the scars.
Look at the damage.
Look at her...
That girl... 

That girl internalized the lies
Believed that she couldn't leap
That she couldn't be who He'd called her to be.
Surely He couldn't use her...
That girl... 

That girl found it easier to sink into the shadows of doubt
To lay in the depth of despair
To break under the weight of silence
That girl... 

That girl...
Right when that girl had given up all hope, she found the last ounce of courage to stand
And in that moment someone saw the light that was hidden deep inside
There is more.
You have more.
You were made for more.
That girl... 

That girl finally looked back and realized the life she had been living was a lie
That there was beauty in her soul and in her eyes
That girl... 

That girl took a leap of faith and began to run for all He has created her to be
That girl felt deeper pain than ever before in the midst of the journey
That forever changed her heart and her mind
That girl... 

That girl, through tears and sleepless nights...
That girl became brave
That girl became fearless
That girl... 

That girl ran and ran and ran
until she stumbled into
THIS girl... 

This girl...
Her worth and her value are higher than rubies
Her power is found in the cross
Her faith is found in the waves.
This girl... 

This girl is a survivor.
This girl is courageous.
This girl is a warrior.
This girl... 

This girl will tell you that it's worth every wound to become all that the King of the universe has created you to be and called you to be.
This girl... 

This girl will tell you not to give up the fight because it's true when they say the race is not given to the swift or the strong but to those who endure till the end.
This girl... 

This girl is proof that God can use your scars to heal the wounds of others in the middle of an avalanche
If you're willing to run the extra mile.
If YOU'RE willing.
Yes, YOU.
You girl.
He can use YOU girl.
Rise up.
You are created for a time such as this.
You, girl.
'Cause that girl isn't you girl.
She is your past girl.
But this girl...
She is your present.
She is your future.
So what are you willing to do girl?

She's Not You

He saw a woman. From behind, she looked just like you. Smooth, beautiful skin. An hourglass figure in a sexy black dress and red heels. She held a drink in her hands as she chatted with a friend at the bar. The conversation must have been pleasurable, as she threw her head back and laughed.

That laugh...her haunted him. Could it be? He hadn't expected to see her here in Memphis.

He approached the bar cautiously and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and the resemblance took his breath away. Her face looked just like yours. Almond shaped brown eyes, a cute button nose, with a dazzling white smile. For a moment, he was speechless.

"Yes?" She said, her amusement showing in her face at his silence.

"I'm sorry," he stammered, "you look just like...someone I used to know..."

She laughed once more. That laugh took him back to 10 years ago when he first approached you in college. His palms were sweaty now, just as they had been then.

"Can...can I buy you a drink?" He finally asked after an awkward silence.

She studied his face...he was handsome, without a doubt. He had strong features, a tapered beard, beautiful lips...yet, his piercing grey eyes displayed a hint of sadness.

"Sure..." She replied.

They spent the evening talking about life. She was almost as lively as you were...yet, there was something missing. She was filled with laughter, but not joy. Pretty...but she did not have your beauty. She was a bit too wild...and there was something disingenuous about her that he couldn't quite identify.

Yet, when she asked if he wanted to get out of the bar together, he obliged.

In her apartment, he watched her undress. Her body was lovely...but wasn't quite yours. Her skin was soft, yet not as velvety as he remembered yours to be. The evening he spent with her was fun...but not magical. And as he lay beside her, staring at her after all was said and done, he sighed.

For after all...she could never be you.

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