Sometimes I Miss You, Sometimes I Don't

One of the things that I do not miss about full-time blogging is the pressure. Everyone says, "Consistency is key" and that you have to always be pushing your content to your audience. This meant that not only was I doing photo shoots multiple times per week, I was also editing daily, and chugging out content on Hootsuite so that my posts would be shared multiple times per day on all of my social media platforms. This took a lot of work. Any full-time blogger will tell you that this ain't easy. When I was unemployed and not in school, I had plenty of time for that work. I could dedicate my days to waking up and making sure everything was "instagram-able" (this is a real word, I assure you.) Here are some of my favorite "instagram-able" examples:

1. The lighting for my breakfast - I'd take so many pictures, edit it perfectly, and take so much time crafting the perfect caption and hashtags that the food would get cold. I wouldn't even be hungry anymore.
2. The perfect pose for an outfit - I about near popped my hip out of place one time trying to ensure that my curves were on point.
3. Spending time with friends - my makeup, outfit, and smile needed to be perfect for any instagram-worthy shot. I'd spend so much time taking and editing pictures that I'd forget why we were there - to actually spend time together.
4. Date night - God forbid that we go on one of our regular dates with me in comfy clothes, no makeup, and messy hair. Nope, only the perfect days made it to instagram - and those days weren't even the most fun because I'd have on so much makeup that we couldn't even kiss without my lipstick smearing!

Everything needed to be perfect. It needed to be so perfect that I started to miss out on reality - which is anything but perfect. It's like Queen Bey says - "Perfection is a disease of a nation." And she's right, pretty does hurt.

When I started working again in 2016, it took me all of about 3 months to realize that full-time blogging wouldn't work for me. I didn't have time for the perfect picture of my breakfast - I was hungry and dammit, I was gonna eat right then and there.

Furthermore, in 2017, I really started to lean into reality rather than the life I was trying to live up to on instagram. I've talked about this a lot on my blog. I hope that you have seen the evolution.

Sometimes I miss blogging, and sometimes I don't. I do miss sharing bits and pieces of my life. And maybe I will begin to share more again.

In truth, my real life is messy. It's filled with cat litter, students crying in my office, root canals, and more. It's also filled with late-night snuggles with my hubby, the Great British Bake-Off, and walking in the cold to spend time with friends. What is real often cannot be captured in a photograph - authentic conversations, belly laughs from watching that Jake Tapper/Ted Crockett interview, tearful heart-to-hearts over coffee as we whispered "Me, too", and more. That cannot be captured for instagram.

I think I would blog more if it meant less perfection. I would blog more if I can be authentic and real. I'd blog more if I can ramble. I'd blog more if I can share a three line poem about sadness. I'd blog more if every post didn't need a perfect picture in order to be "eye-catching" for the masses. And perhaps, that is where the secret lies. If I can be bold enough to show my real, authentic, not-instagram-perfect life, maybe I would have even more of it to share with you.

Cheers to 2018. Let's see where it all goes ♥
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