Winter White

Hellllllooooooo Friday!

Hi everyone! Welcome back to Unapologetically Pam. Can I share with you something that I love about my blog? I love that it's a reflection of myself. I love that it can't be boxed in to one category, just like I can't be tamed! I love that on Wednesday, I could share a story about self-love and overcoming and today I can share a post with you that's all about FASHION!

While some may say that white after Labor Day is a fashion faux pas, I say, "Whateva, whateva! I do what I want!" (in my Cartman from South Park voice lol). So here's a Fashion Friday post for you fashion lovers out there!

Shirt - Target
Jeans - Target
Clutch - Discovery
Accessories - Discovery & Akira
Trench Coat - Burlington Coat Factory
Boots - Payless

Wearing white in the winter time is one of my favorite things to do! And pairing it with black makes it a little less daunting for those of you who have some reservations about winter whites.

Thanks so much for reading and happy weekend!

PS - I heard there might be a night time pampering routine up soon over on the Unapologetically Pam YouTube channel...I can't confirm or deny it, but...ya know, prepare yourselves accordingly.


Happy Monday, yall!

Here's an outfit that I wore recently while exploring Chicago. I knew of this mural wall in Logan Square and wanted to take some photos asap. And, here they are!

I had so much fun playing with the editing for this shoot because of the beautiful red background!

Jacket - Thrifted
Crop Top - Wet Seal
Bodycon Skirt - Wet Seal
Boots - H&M
Tights - Target
Accessories - Discovery

Hope you're all having a lovely Monday!


No Regrets

Hey guuuyyyyyssss! Happy Wednesday (*insert cabbage patch emoji here*)!!

I'm back with another quick post that I'm suuuuper excited to share! But first, how are you today? How's your January going so far? I'd genuinely like to know.

For me, January has been amazing, lots of opportunities to keep "becoming myself, unapologetically" with no regret, and no shame. Which leads me to the reason for this post! I finally have completed my YouTube channel trailer! I wanted to take my time with this one to make sure it represented what I am passionate about. Since this will be the first thing new viewers/subscribers see when they come to my YouTube page, I wanted it to be as close to "pam-perfection" (pamfection? can I make that a word?) as possible. Without further ado, here we go!

Don't forget to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE for more!


DIY Lip Scrub

Hey, Hi, Hello! 

Welcome back Unapologetically Pam! 

Okay, so it's winter (at least here in Chicago, brrrrr). It's cold, it's miserable, and you probably are caking on loads of lip balm to combat dry lips. So, today I wanted to share with you guys a super simple, super easy DIY lip scrub you can do in literally minutes with items you most likely already have at home. Adding this into your lip routine once a week or so can really make a difference in the look and feel of those puckers (hehe) no matter what the weather. 

Let's get started!

Things you'll need:
Olive Oil

Step 1:
The amount is up to you, but just use equal parts. I did about a teaspoon of olive oil and a teaspoon of sugar. Mix it all together on a small plate/bowl/whatev's. Should look something like this:

Step 2:
Apply it to your lips, gently rubbing it in for about 30 seconds (or longer, cause ya know, yolo).

Step 3:
Rinse it off with warm water, and your lips should feel nice and soft. And exfoliated!

Step 4:
Don't forget to moisturize! I'm just using an EOS lip balm cause I love the way it smells!

And, voila! You have soft, kissable lips. And it only takes like 2 minutes to do, seriously. I highly recommend this DIY lip scrub!

*cyber high-fives*

In The Trenches: Part 2

Hi everyone! Welcome back to le blog!

Here's part deux of "In the Trenches" and I looove this one just as much as the first.

Coat - Thrifted at Village Discount Outlet
Sweater - H&M
Necklace - Forever 21
Jeans - Target
Shoes - Target

This coat is surprisingly warmer than the first. It looks deceivingly thin, but I wore this coat on NYE with just a dress, scarf, & gloves and was quite warm. 

If the red one is just for show, this second one will definitely be a staple in my closet for winter, spring, & fall here in the Windy City. And again, this coat was under $10!

Thank you so much for reading! Hope you enjoyed these thrifted pieces for "In the Trenches."

Muchos besos,

Hello, My Name Is...


My name is Pam. 

I consider myself to be a life-long learner. I have a Bachelor of Science in History and a Master of Arts in Modern European History. I'm currently studying Human Identity & Development. 

I've studied French & Spanish and while I'm not fluent in either, I have translated numerous documents for the completion of my studies. It's quite an accomplishment for a young black girl, born in a small rural town in Arkansas.

I've worked as a mentor and as a creative director so I've led teams as large as 20 and as small as one. Both were equally important to me. I still am in contact with many of my former students, whom I now consider to be simply my friends.

I've had high points in my life (new appointments, moving to the big city, awards, accolades). I've also had many low points (abuse, divorce, disappointments). These things don't define me; yet, through them, I've learned not only to survive, but to thrive.

I'm a blogger, a singer, a writer, a composer, a poet, an intellectual, a historian, a sister, a friend. 

I am all of these things.

I am me. All of me. Unapologetically, of course. 

So now I ask, "Who are you?" 

Sometimes, you have to remind yourself of who you are and where you've come from to appreciate where you're going. In a few short weeks of launching Unapologetically Pam, some amazing doors have opened for me that I can't wait to share.

So, who are you? Please share with me, I'd love to know. Comment down below or share your own work with me.

Sending you all lots of love,

In the Trenches: Part 1

Hello my darlings! Welcome back to Unapologetically Pam!

How darling is this little red trench? You won't believe it but this piece is actually THRIFTED!

Coat - Thrifted from Village Discount Outlet
Shirt - H&M
Necklace - Akira
Watch - Discovery
Pants - H&M
Shoes - Target

I love the black trimming detail on the collar and pockets of this coat, so when I saw it at the thrift I knew I had to have it. Full disclosure: the coat isn't very warm. I definitely have to layer up when wearing it. But look at that color!

I actually got two little trenches from the thrift recently. They were both under $10!! I'll share the second one in part two of "In the Trenches." In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this little red number as much as I do!

Thanks for reading!! Stay tuned for Part 2!


Recap & Resolution

Happy New Year everyone!!!

Last night was SO real! I had an absolute blast with my Honey Dip and friends ringing in the New Year in Evanston.

Dress - Discovery
Necklace - Akira
Clutch - Discovery
Arm Candy - Discovery
Booties - Old

This coat is a thrift find! I'll have a post on it soon. It kept me warm all night.

Gotta love a man in a bot-twie (insert heart eye emoji here)

By far my biggest accomplishment of the night was my makeup though. This look was inspired by Cydnee Black. I'd never worked with glitter before and I struggggle with lashes, so this took me a while, but it paid off in the end!

Brows - NYC Brow kit 
Concealer - L'Oreal + NYX
Lips - Custom (Milani Black Cherry + Black Eyeshadow)
Eyes - BH Cosmetics day to night palette + Wet & Wild glitter shadow & lashes

These are the few photos I was able to capture of the night. We were too busy having fun and dancing to bring out the camera. It was so much fun!

And of course, how else to end a night of fun than with Ihop?

NYE 2016 was such an incredible start to the year, filled with laighter, dancing, new friends, VIP treatment, love, and midnight kisses. I am one happy girl right now!

New Year's Resolution:

To keep becoming myself, unapologetically.

That's all for now my darlings! Until next time...



Life comes at us in ways that we don't expect. You know those moments, situations, and decisions that make or break you? Yeah, life, am I right? Today, I want to share one of those "make or break" stories. I hope you enjoy.


By the time I was in ninth grade, I already had really low self-esteem. On more than one occasion, I had been called out for being dark skinned. Once in fifth grade, my teacher thought it would be appropriate to use me as an example of "how dark certain tribes of Africa can get." Or there was that one time when my friend's little brother cried and begged his mom not to let me in their car because he could tell by my skin tone that I was "dirty."  

I was also often teased for being heavier than the average ninth-grade girl. Hell, I was already a DD by SEVENTH GRADE for goodness sake. Boys (and girls) at that age were pretty ruthless and I was constantly being informed that because of my dark skin and larger figure, I was ugly. On top of that, the media was always there in the background, providing few examples of women who looked like me and more women who looked like Angelina Jolie or Beyonce. Either way, I was losing.

So, by ninth grade, I felt pretty terrible about myself. But, I managed to mask it really well. Until one day in September 2002 that I'll never forget.

School had just recently begun and I was still learning my way around the "big kids campus." I was pretty shy and often quiet unless I was around friends. I remember I was wearing an orange shirt that day and I was self-conscious of it. I didn't like wearing bright colors. I was quietly walking up the stairs in between classes, books in my arm, calculating the path to my next class when all of a sudden, an upper-class male student (who also happened to be dark-skinned) started screaming at me in the stairwell. At first I had no idea what was happening or who he was talking to, as I was minding my own business and alone. When I realized he was screaming at me, my heart sank.

"Ugggggghhhh, look at this UGLY, FAT, BLACK B*TCH!" He yelled, his friends snickering around him. "GET OUT OF THE F***ING WAY!"

"I...I'm..." I stuttered, trying to comprehend what was happening.

"WHAT?!?!?" He yelled, "YOUR FAT A** CAN'T MOVE??!?!" His friends continued to laugh in the background. In a panic, I looked around for help. No one I knew was nearby, but there was a glimmer of hope when I noticed a few upper-class girls shaking their heads at his ignorance. Nevertheless, while I could see sympathy in their eyes, no one came to my defense.

Finally, I managed to whisper a soft, "Whatever..." as he continued his tirade against me. I held my head up high and marched up the stairs in a dignified manner. After all, I'd always been taught to never let anyone see me weak or hurt. The mask of, "Whatever, I'm fine" was easy to put on, but really, my legs felt like jelly. I thought the entire high school could feel my tremors of shock and shame. I finally stumbled my way into a secluded bathroom on the second floor. I cried my eyes out for a solid 5 minutes. I looked in the mirror and I hated who I was. I wished I could snap my fingers and become light-skinned. I hated the girl I saw. I wished I looked different, that my skin wasn't so...dirty.

The teasing continued past ninth grade. And with each incident, my self-loathing grew. I remember one day, crying to my mom about it, and she told me,

"Those same guys who make fun of you 
will be the same one's after you later. Wait and see." 

Fast forward to 2009. By that time, I was growing into my own as a woman. I started to love my dark skin (and now, I'm in love with the skin I'm in!). I lost the baby fat and unexpectedly developed curves! I remember posting a photo from my 21st birthday that year, and wouldn't you know it, that night I got a friend request in my Facebook inbox. And it was him. The guy who yelled at me in the stairwell in ninth grade. I accepted his request and immediately got a direct message from him: "Hey, what's up Pam. Damn girl, you're looking good! I was wondering if you'd like to hang out some time?"

I can't really describe what I felt when I saw his message. It wasn't vengeance. It wasn't anger. It wasn't cockiness. I felt...surprised. I felt relief. I felt like my mama was right all along. Because she was!

But more than anything, I was grateful that I started to see beauty in myself before he did. 

I didn't need him to notice. He and any other man noticing is simply a bonus.

As a grown woman looking back, I feel compassion for that angry teenage boy. I wonder what his life was like at home. I wonder what he had experienced to make him so careless, so terribly mean at such a young age. And I look back at that young, beautiful, dark-skinned girl...and if I could say anything to her, I would whisper in her ear,

"You are so worthy of love. You are so beautiful. Your melanin is made from the DNA of Kings and Queens. And this situation right here? 
This is only temporary." 

While I can't go back and undo the past, I could respond to this young man's present inquiry. I must say that was probably the most joyful, "No, thank you" I've given to a date invitation. And to this day, that story fills me with contentment.

Cheers to getting over the hump, baby girl. Cheers to becoming all of who we are, unapologetically.

#loveyourself  #embraceyourself  #becomeyourself
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