Self-care is hard work.

Phew. I said it. And I feel relieved at the honesty. Since November, I have had the desire to re-incorporate more things that I love into my schedule. These include:

1. Date night

2. Time with friends and family

3. Reading

4. Writing

5. Yoga

6. Meditation

7. Music

For me, these are parts of my self-care. They are things I need to stay sane, to function and live well. Yet, back in November, I got into a cycle of working 12 hours days. As early as 7 a.m., I would get so busy, anxiously responding to emails and strategic planning that I would often find myself in the middle of one task, jumping to another task, remembering that I didn't complete the other task, coming back to the first task, while my mind wanders to a third task and then, BAM, it's almost 10 p.m. Not good, friends. Not good at all for my mental/physical/spiritual/emotional wellbeing.

In a heart to heart with my therapist, I decided to make some changes. I decided to begin scheduling time for self-care. Sounds simple enough. Yet, here I am almost a week later, new planner in hand, computer tabs aplenty, and I have barely scheduled anything through this week, let alone for the month.

Self-care is easier said than done.

Trying to schedule in time to go to a yoga class or put date night on the calendar or set aside an hour for a phone call with a friend. It feels exhausting. And I keep asking myself, what if I don't feel like it when the time comes? Trying to predict how future Pam will feel about her schedule is tiring. I keep signing up for yoga classes and then canceling. Or researching a new book, then hesitating to purchase it for my kindle. Then trying to plan date night, but not putting it on the calendar because what if we're both exhausted??

I know, I'm overthiking it. But fear is a helluva thing yall. When I shared my worries with my counselor, she paused thoughtfully and said:

"I bet if you try it, you'll find that it excites you more than it scares you."

I think she's right.  After that, a friend of mine asked me some basic questions to help me start organizing my life:

1. What feels important? 

2. What fills you up? 

3. What's not serving you? 

 My friends, I encourage you to do the same. Just try it. We can do it together. I am thinking hard about these questions every day as I am committed to creating a schedule that will allow me to work normal hours, and fill my life with the many other things that I love.

Let's fill our lives with the things we love most and see if our wellbeing continues to grow.

Unapologetically,

Pam