Wish You Were Here

8:53 PM

Wish You Were Here is out now! You can listen to it on your streaming platform of choice here.

This song has only been out a little over 24 hours and it already has sparked some deep conversations. I'd like to talk about some of them here. Trigger Warning: Depression.

Depression is a beast. As someone who has been diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety, I know this all too well. October was a big, beautiful month for me. My album came out (Call Home is still very fresh and lives at the forefront of my recently played music queues), I did my TED Talk, the album release party was fire. So many wonderful things. Then, outside of me, more beautiful things were happening. My best friends had a baby (hi L'Oreal & Jeff!), we celebrated more birthdays than I can count (I love my Libras & Scorpios for real), and Halloween was LIT. On top of all that, fall is my favorite time of year and October really exemplifies the fall spirit.

Then November 1st came...and I woke up sad. There was no rhyme or reason to it. I had been preparing with my therapist for the potential of a "system crash" after having so many big things happen in October, and yet, when depression came knocking, I simply wasn't ready. I cried every day for a week. I felt myself withdrawing from friends & family. Work was kicking my ass, so that didn't help. Suddenly, all I wanted to do was sleep.

That is the mental state I was in when I wrote "Wish You Were Here." It was my depressed self longing for my "normal" self (which is complicated, I know). I just wanted to be here, to be present, in the fullness of joy that I know I'm capable of...but I just couldn't. When I sang, "This Christmas, all I really want is for you to love me like only you can," I was singing to myself. Depression tries to convince me that I am unlovable. And I know that isn't the truth. I know I am Love, and I know I am Loved. But in my lowest of lows, it's easy to second guess. It took me a bit to get out of that place and step back into my power. But I'm grateful for what November 1st taught me.

Maybe you've been in a similar place with your mental health. Or maybe you're experiencing loneliness. Or self-deprecation. Or seasonal depression. Or maybe you're just in the mood for a good cry. Maybe, you're in a damn good place, actually, and you just wanna vibe (WYWH is an excellent song to vibe to, if I do say so myself 😏). Wherever you find yourself when you read this, I hope you know you are Love and you are Loved. Always. And I hope you enjoy Wish You Were Here. I'm immensely proud of it.


PS - Reviews have started to roll in for #WYWH and I'm in awe!

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