Saying No

8:53 AM

Have you ever had to say 'no' to someone you love?

A few weeks ago, a loved one asked me to go to an event. There were a few major hurdles to jump to get there:

1.   The event was in a neighborhood that was inconvenient for me.
2.   The event started at 10 p.m.
3.   This was a Wednesday night.
4.   Uber/Lyft is very expensive getting in and out of that neighborhood.
5.   Which means I would be on the train well after midnight.

I said no.

I wanted to be there to support my loved one. But, on a Wednesday night, at 10 p.m., in a strange neighborhood, on the train, with an 8 a.m. meeting the next morning, NO was the right way to go. Thankfully, they were totally understanding and we got together at another time that made sense for both of us. Nevertheless, when I said no, I was nervous about disappointing them.

For those of us who are highly relational people, sometimes saying no is hard. And it's especially difficult to set boundaries with people that we love. But I'm learning that the more I stay true to my boundaries, the deeper connections I've been able to build. I can say no when something doesn't work for me. And I can respect when other people need to say no because something doesn't work for them.

Saying no has led to healthier relationships. 

Who would've thought??

5 years ago, I wouldn't have said no. I was still struggling to set boundaries. This resulted in a lot of unhealthy relationships, personally and professionally. 

Now, I am learning to love the word no 
just as much as I love the word yes. 

Because those words are clear and concrete. I encourage you to say no when you need to. I encourage you to say yes when you need to. I encourage you to find balance in both. Our no is just as good as our yes. And we are worthy of healthy relationships and healthy boundaries.


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