Growth & Change: A (Hopeful) Series

11:15 AM

Photo cred: CreateHER Stock

I have been in a space of deep self exploration for the last three years. At first, I was really keen to share most of that experience here on my blog. 2016 was my year of sharing! Then 2017 came, and I reached a point where I needed to become more protective of myself, my space, and the amount of sharing I did. 2017 was my year of building in silence. There were a lot of changes happening: marriage, new job, new home, financial growth, health issues, etc. The year was filled with extreme highs (like marrying the man of my dreams) and extreme lows (receiving an unexpected diagnosis, which I talked about in an earlier post). I didn't want to live those experiences on paper, on a blog or Instagram post. I needed to be present in those moments without the distraction of sharing with the world or crafting the perfect caption.

Coming into 2018, I feel like this is my year manifesting. 2018 will be my year of harvest. And for me, this harvest begins in my mind.

I keep seeing mental harvest affirmations that go a little something like this:

"Whatever you believe in your mind, you manifest in your life."

Is it true that if you think negatively, negative things will come? And how does that work for someone like me, who has experienced extensive trauma? I sat down with a psychologist recently to dig a little deeper into this idea. The psychologist validated my experience. What I learned has been both affirming and frustrating. For people who have experienced trauma, trauma often breeds fear. Fear, in turn, often will breed negativity. Expecting negative things will ultimately deliver negative things. Isn't that crazy?

So, here's the frustrating part: Negativity will come. You cannot control the negative emotions as they are just a part of being human. What you can control is your response. This is both affirming and frustrating. It is exceedingly difficult to validate your negative emotions and respond to them with personal affirmation. And yet, that is exactly what I've been fighting to do in 2018. To have a positive mental harvest that manifests in my real life.

I don't have all of the answers and I'm on the journey myself. But here are a few tips I've picked up that are helping me to manifest and harvest in 2018:

Meditate | Speak Life | Seek Help | Believe

I took up meditation after attending a class in 2016. Since then, my desire has been to meditate everyday. Realistically, I fall short of this. But, when I do meditate, it helps to calm my mind. I find that when I meditate, I also pray better. Because my head is less cluttered. When I practice consistently, I feel much more connected to my inner self, which produces positive and trusting energy. My favorite app to practice meditation is Stop, Breathe, and Think. They have lots of free options for meditation. Some are short, some are long so you can find meditations that fit your schedule and lifestyle.

Speak Life:
This one is a little bit harder for me. As someone who is still healing from trauma, it is sometimes difficult to believe that God intends good things for me. But She does. I know She does. I struggle to see it sometimes though. When I am afraid is when it is most important for me to speak life into myself. My fear that tells me, "What if I'm not worthy? What if that company doesn't want to work with you? What if that gig doesn't work out?" I validate where those feelings come from. Then I say something simple like, "I am worthy. I am able. I deserve good things." That's it.

Seek Help:
Seriously. Get a good therapist. If you're worried about cost (totally valid, as a lot of insurances don't cover mental health), I suggest looking for a counseling center. Many counseling centers offer sliding scale payments, based on your income. Most private practitioners in my experience can't offer a sliding scale, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't at least ask if you find someone that you want to work with. Whatever you do, wherever you are, if you need help, I encourage you to seek it out. Sometimes taking the first step of talking to a counselor is all you need to get the ball rolling.

Lastly, you have to believe. I have been mediating for almost two years now, along with prayer. I work really hard to speak life, but sometimes I fall short. I have a wonderful therapist, so I'm seeking help. But I struggle so much when it comes to simply believing. Believing that the meditation, speaking life, and therapy will come to fruition. Believing that God really does intend good things for my life. Believing that good things will, indeed, come. But belief is necessary. It is necessary for me to believe that the universe is on my side and that a good harvest will come from the work I've put in over the years.

Thank you for reading ♥


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