Date Night Matters

12:08 PM

Okay y'all...let's talk about the "R" word...that's right.


If you're in a long-term relationship, married or not, often one of the first layers of romance that we tend to relinquish after the "honeymoon phase" is date night. Now this can be for a variety of reasons. Maybe kids came into the picture. Maybe your work schedules changed. Or maybe, this happened...
Either way, date night went further down the priorities list or off the list altogether. I'm here to advocate for the return of a regularly scheduled Date Night to enhance your romance.

Now you might say, "But, Pam! You don't know my struggle!" That's real. Especially if you're a parent, cause I haven't lived that life yet. But I have experienced a failed marriage and I am in a long-term, loving relationship now. In both circumstances, I've learned that Date Night Matters.

I would argue that date night is a matter of self-love. When you prioritize date night, you prioritize your needs to feel loved and give love. By dating your mate, you honor yourself. I love that I chose my partner.

It's a reflection of my loving myself to choose someone who cares for me holistically as he does.

Because of this, I love being around him. I crave it. While we are both working to build an empire, we feel that it's so important that we express our love by continuing to date each other weekly. We get more dressed up than usual (unless we've agreed on a super casual date, which is also fun!). We also put effort into what we wear, personal grooming, and where we're going. It's almost like preparing for a first date, but instead of the nervous jitters, there's just excitement because we love each other. When you care for yourself, you care for each other. And in return, you'll be surprised at the number of other people who also will be inspired to love themselves and their partners better.

One of the best things you can do for the people in your inner circle (your children, friends, family, colleagues, etc.) is to date your partner.

When you date your partner because you love yourself, you love your partner, and you both prioritize your relationship needs, I'm trying to tell you, it is life-changing. THIS is why Date Night Matters. If we take this beyond Valentine's Day, we have the opportunity to really become love-struck both with ourselves and our mates.

Date Night Ideas

1) Take It Easy - How about a walk in the park? This one's a freebie, for those who perhaps don't have a ton of time, as you're figuring out when a date can fit into your schedule. Or maybe you don't want to spend any money. Whatever the case, a walk in the park is fun, especially if you can find a park nearby that neither of you have been to. For my Chicagoans, I'd recommend a drive up to the Skokie Sculpture Park. It's about a 2-mile stretch that features biking/walking trails. Along the way, there are over 60 unique sculptures to view for your enjoyment. It's like an outdoor art museum! I've been there once, but my partner hasn't been there. So, this is a date we're looking forward to when it gets a bit warmer!

2) Date Night In - Recently my partner and I didn't feel like going out but we still wanted to honor date night. So, we decided to have "old school music video night." We live-streamed to our television about 20 music videos that we both selected from the '90s. Man, talk about nostalgia. Erykah Badu, Tupac, Boyz II Men, Aaliyah, Mint Condition, Bone Thugz 'N Harmony. Yo, it was SO DOPE! We broke out a bottle of wine and spent a few hours just laughing, dancing, and re-living our childhood.

3) Classic Dinner & a Movie - This one's pretty self-explanatory, and it works. There have been times that my partner and I have been in a rut and we've had to force ourselves to get up and get dressed for a dinner. And it's always been worth it. I love the restaurant atmosphere, the interaction with a good waiter, the clamor of dishes and laughter...and also, restaurants are wonderful for people watching.

PS - You can also do a dinner & movie date at home, once everyone has gone to bed. The point is that you both zero in on each other and spend intentional time together.

4) Urban Crawl - This is for my city dwellers! Find a place in the city, and go exploring! Chicago is such an awesome place to go for an urban crawl, especially if you do so along the Magnificent Mile. There are shops, museums, tours, restaurants, cafe's, any and everything you want along the way. My partner and I absolutely love doing an urban crawl because it has so much flexibility. You can do one that's expensive by going on tours, having wine/beer in different places, actually buying things in the shops, etc. Or, you can have an inexpensive crawl by window-shopping, having some coffee, grabbing a quick bite at a random cafe/bakery that you've never been to, exploring Millennium/Grant Park or Water Tower Place. Seriously, there's so much to do! 

5) Small Town Crawl - This one's for those who maybe aren't in a big city (or want to get out of the city!). Small town's often have cool little hidden gems. We love going to the suburbs around Chicago for a small-town feel. We'll go to an ice cream shop, have a walk around the mall, or (my favorite!) hit up a local book store. It's always fun to see how different our interests are. My partner always goes for the comic books, while I'm always looking at hair magazines (yasssss!). Small towns can offer more serenity when you want to escape the hustle and bustle of the city.

That's it! I hope you've found these quick tips to be useful in some way. What are your date plans for Valentine's Day? And beyond? I'd love to know about it! 

Also, PS - If you're single, don't be afraid to date yourself! Or have a night out with the homies.  Your self-care matters.

*sending you warm cyber-hugs*

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  1. This was such a great post! I love it. Date nights are still so important in a relationship because alone specific time is needed for a healthy relationship. It helps alleviate the taking someone for granted issues that tends to come up.

    S .x

    1. I completely agree! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Looking forward to checking out your blog! xx


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