She held her head high in order to hide

The emptiness she felt inside.

Years of self hatred and self neglect

It caught up to her

That girl... 

That girl was trapped in the things of the past

The lies she was told at the tender age of seven

The man who approached her at the age of 12

The boy who stole from her at the age of 16

The man she pledged her life to in darkness and deceit

That girl... 

That girl believed the love she received was the love she deserved

There was nothing better for her

She accepted pain as the natural way of life

That girl... 

That girl was afraid of her own shadow

Afraid to sleep with the lights off

Afraid that God wouldn't love her, couldn't love her

Because look at her...

Look at the scars.

Look at the damage.

Look at her...

That girl... 

That girl internalized the lies

Believed that she couldn't leap

That she couldn't be who He'd called her to be.

Surely He couldn't use her...

That girl... 

That girl found it easier to sink into the shadows of doubt

To lay in the depth of despair

To break under the weight of silence

That girl... 

That girl...

Right when that girl had given up all hope, she found the last ounce of courage to stand

And in that moment someone saw the light that was hidden deep inside

And said, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE THAT GIRL ANYMORE."

There is more.

You have more.

You were made for more.

That girl... 

That girl finally looked back and realized the life she had been living was a lie

That there was beauty in her soul and in her eyes

That girl... 

That girl took a leap of faith and began to run for all He has created her to be

That girl felt deeper pain than ever before in the midst of the journey

That forever changed her heart and her mind

That girl... 

That girl, through tears and sleepless nights...

That girl became brave

That girl became fearless

That girl... 

That girl ran and ran and ran

until she stumbled into

THIS girl... 

This girl...

Her worth and her value are higher than rubies

Her power is found in the cross

Her faith is found in the waves.

This girl... 

This girl is a survivor.

This girl is courageous.

This girl is a warrior.

This girl... 

This girl will tell you that it's worth every wound to become all that the King of the universe has created you to be and called you to be.

This girl... 

This girl will tell you not to give up the fight because it's true when they say the race is not given to the swift or the strong but to those who endure till the end.

This girl... 

This girl is proof that God can use your scars to heal the wounds of others in the middle of an avalanche

If you're willing to run the extra mile.

If YOU'RE willing.

Yes, YOU.

You girl.

He can use YOU girl.

Rise up.

You are created for a time such as this.

You, girl.

'Cause that girl isn't you girl.

She is your past girl.

But this girl...

She is your present.

She is your future.

So what are you willing to do girl?

For the last two years of graduate school, I've rarely gotten the opportunity to read for pleasure. Grad school forces you to focus and re-align yourself often. Aside from academic books, I've found myself reading spiritual, emotional, life-balancing books every now and then. But mostly, this is an example of my usual reading life.

This summer, I wanted to change that. I've decided to take the time to escape into someone else's world for a moment. When I do this, I generally don't go for dramatic books. Instead, I look for meaningful stories, enthralling characters, and rich details.

So far, I've read an exciting new book called The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern, and I figured it's been a while since I've done a book review, so here goes!

"The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. Within the black-and-white striped canvas tents is an utterly unique experience full of breathtaking amazements. It is called Le Cirque des Rêves, and it is only open at night. 

But behind the scenes, a fierce competition is underway: a duel between two young magicians, Celia and Marco, who have been trained since childhood expressly for this purpose by their mercurial instructors. Unbeknownst to them both, this is a game in which only one can be left standing. Despite the high stakes, Celia and Marco soon tumble headfirst into love, setting off a domino effect of dangerous consequences, and leaving the lives of everyone, from the performers to the patrons, hanging in the balance."

The Night Circus is a great read. I found myself connecting with Celia and Marco and the various characters in Le Cirque des Rêves so much. Plus, I enjoyed the descriptive details that Morgenstern employed because it allows the reader to indulge their senses. 

However, I couldn't get lost in the circus. There are pages and pages worth of descriptions in this book, but for whatever reason, I couldn't visualize the imagery for the most part. There is some sort of disconnect in the circus for me that I can't quite identify. There were other places, such as the first time Marco uses his gift of illusion on a young woman on the streets of London that I could definitely get lost in, but I never had that moment for the circus itself.

Furthermore, the love story between Celia and Marco could have encompassed far more of the book. It should have been the centerpiece of the story, actually. Instead, we don't really get into their romance until the latter part of the book and it really doesn't matter until the end.

Overall, I'd give it a 3.5/5. 

Also, I just finished re-reading The Giver by Lois Lowry. I read this back in 7th grade and I remember the emotions I felt while reading it (sad, confused, overwhelmed...yet I couldn't put it down) so I thought I'd try it once more as an adult. Plus, there's a movie about it coming out soon. Currently in my summer reading series, I'm reading The House on Mango Street, which I read in high school. I actually had the pleasure of hearing Sandra Cisneros speak about the book and get an autograph back in 2003 in Little Rock, AR. I don't think I understood how awesome that was until I became an adult.

After that, I'm planning to read Gregory Macguire's Mirror, Mirror, per the recommendation of a fellow grad student. Plus, I've been inspired by my reading and I've written a couple of short stories that I may share here on my blog (first one here).

What are you reading this summer? I'd love to hear about it!

♥