Dis(Connect)ion?

intellectual musings
I follow a beautiful couple, Anna Lee and Jesse, on YouTube. They do vlogs of their daily life and fun events, awesome food, and sunny weather in California. Because I've been following them for a while, I've grown very fond (and attached) to their beautiful dogs, Cooper and Mookie.

Cooper died a couple months ago...and I cried. I cried like I did when my best friend Gavin told me that his dog, Rocky, died. In the moment, it didn't feel strange at all. I didn't question the pain I felt for them. Myself and thousands of other fans of their YouTube videos reached out to them to share our condolences. Any pet owner knows how much our furry (or slithery or whatev's) friends touch our lives. They are our family.

But, when I thought more deeply about the connection I felt to Anna Lee, Jesse, and Mookie at the death of Cooper, I realized that social media has changed the way we view things.

There is a common concern that social media is disconnecting people from the world. But, I would argue that the world of social media, particularly vlogs and blogs, has allowed us to connect with people intimately in new ways. Because of their vlogs, I feel that I am often welcomed into Anna Lee and Jesse's home. I see the joy in Mookie & Cooper's eyes when Claire comes over for a visit. I see them laugh with their friends, making dinner, getting haircuts, going to flea markets, eating fish tacos (which I now want to try!), etc. In this way, my relationship to Anna Lee and Jesse is, in certain respects, similar to my relationship to Gavin. I've been in Gavin's home, we've made dinner together with his parents, I've seen Rocky and Pouncer, and now CJ and Bono, we've gone to movies, we've eaten late night meals. We've lived life together. And I've seen life through Anna Lee and Jesse's eyes. Because of this, it was very painful and I cried so much when Cooper passed away. And still, I feel a little painful tug on my heart when I see Mookie without Cooper. I didn't get to know Cooper in the same way that I knew Rocky, but the connection was similar. And it was beautiful. But, life continues to move and Rocky & Cooper live on in our hearts & memories.

As I contemplated all of this, I marveled at how fascinating the realm of social media can be. I recognize that there are dangers in it. I've seen hateful remarks and ignorant racism & sexism cowardly spewed from behind a computer screen. I've seen people lose touch with one another, afraid of face to face contact. We no longer talk. We no longer listen.

Or perhaps, if you look on the positive side, we talk and listen differently. For me, it's all about balance. I love interacting with people, face to face or otherwise. Phone chats, coffee breaks, Skype catch-ups, good morning text messages, breakfasts, dinners...I love it all. This is why I work in the field of communications. There are endless possibilities. And I enjoy social media. I love seeing how people I knew in high school have grown and changed over the years. Without Facebook, honestly, I wouldn't keep in touch with most of them.

Yet, I also love meeting new people through common interests on sites like Twitter. I've made so many new friends from all over the place who love the same tv shows or events as I do because we chat about them online. And I've been able to feel connected to new friends, like Anna Lee and Jesse, Wendy from Wendy's Lookbook, Claire from ohhaiclaire (now Claire Marshall), Sammi from beautycrush, Patricia from BritPopPrincess (now Patricia Bright), Jenn Im from clothesencounters, and others through their blogs, vlogs, and videos on YouTube.

In short, is there a disconnection in social media? For some, yes. Are there negative connotations to a digital world? Yes. But are there positive things? Yes. Beautiful friendships? Yes. Intimate connections? Yes. It's all about what you make of it.


Year in Review

year in review
2013 can suck it.

That's not generally how I would start a blog post, but this year has been really hard. I'm very grateful for all that it has taught me. The courage it has given me. The resilience I have learned from it. The love that I have received within it. But seriously, I'm happy that this one will be going down in the history book of life in a few hours.

Instead of wallowing in the crap that was 2013 or drowning my sorrows in eggnog, I figured it would be nice to look back on the (few) highlights of this year. Here are my favorite moments from this year in (sort of) chronological order:



Red Hair, Don't Care
I change my hair often, yall know that. But this was probably my favorite hair change this year.




Mentee Graduation
My first group of mentees from my fellowship on campus graduated. I cried, laughed, & toasted their achievements. I'm so proud of them!




Miami
Miami won the championship. No further explanation needed. #WhoMad? #TeamHEAT




Photo Shoots
This was the year of photo shoots. These are some of my favorite shots:



 








Friends Visiting
I was so excited to see some familiar faces from home this year. Catrina, Gavin, & Lacey, thank you so much for making my heart smile :)






Encounters & Crossings
This has been my favorite blog post to date. It really was a reflective moment into my life. I did some serious soul-searching. I feel like I traveled a journey from the little girl on the left to that grown woman on the right to understand why I have found myself in the position I'm in today. The best part is that Natalie Zemon Davis (who this was inspired by) actually read my post! She sent me an email & told me that she thought my writing was beautiful. I was absolutely floored. It was such an honor.




HGSA
I did not expect to be nominated for Vice President, let alone elected. But, I've had a blast. I've gotten close to so many people in my program because of the History Graduate Student Association.


DC! 
This was my first time on a plane. EVER. It was absolutely exhilarating! I had such an awesome time with the Acosta's. Here are some of my favorite photos from that trip. Thanks Rachel (and baby Naomi!) for showing me around the city & hosting me. Love you so much!








Key & Peele
So...yall already know how much I absolutely adore this show. This year, I did a blog post in honor of them, we participated in their fan remix competition (see the video here), and I even dressed as one of their characters for Halloween. But the real honor has been getting to know them. They really are great guys. I've gotten particularly close to Keegan. We talk pretty often on Twitter and I got the chance to meet him in December. He's just an all-around great person. We had deep conversations, laughed a lot, and he gives some of the best hugs in the world. He also gave me some awesome book suggestions to help me focus on finishing my work. Of course, I'd be the one to meet Keegan & get homework. Go figure. Lol.




Musicals
A high school dream finally became reality this year. I got to see WICKED and I cried during Defying Gravity. It was amazing. I also saw The Book of Mormon which totally rocked my socks off!




Images & Perceptions
Okay...so, this was an absolutely breathtaking experience. I learned about this diversity conference called "Images & Perceptions" via Facebook and it sounded awesome. I contacted the director, Siham, and asked if she needed volunteers and she seemed excited to have me. 

I had no idea what to expect when I showed up that Friday. I was nervous. I hoped they would like me. I had no idea that by the end of that day, I would have a new family. They welcomed me with open arms. They encouraged me & inspired me. We had awesome conversations, so many laughs, delicious meals. In addition to that, I learned so much about cultures that really aren't prevalent in Arkansas where I grew up. There were so many moments that night that weren't captured on camera (although the photos below are awesome!)...and really, they probably never could be captured. Instead, there was a moment when we were sitting around Saira's sister's living room, cozily chatting & laughing out loud on the various couches & chairs, sipping warm coffee, relaxing after a long, yet wonderful day...I remember looking around & then closing my eyes for a second. I wanted to freeze that moment in time. Take a mental snapshot of the beauty that surrounded me. Siham, Saira, Noha, Liz, Doris, Hassane, Bill, Keegan, Trish, Alex, Linda...thank you. Also, special thanks to Henna, JoAnn, Mark & everyone who hosted us with grace & compassion. You may or may not know my current situation, but you loved me through a very rough patch. I truly love you all so much. I'm glad to have family in Detroit now :)  








Despite the trials of 2013, there are many joys to celebrate, as evidenced here. 

Here's hoping 2014 will be much better!



Happy New Year, friends.

With love,
Pam

Levels of Blackness

intellectual musings


I absolutely love the show Key & Peele. Like, seriously.

For those of you who don't know what that is (which you should), it's a sketch comedy show that stars Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele, two biracial men, who are just hilarious. Lots of people have seen clips of their sketches on YouTube, but if you actually watch their show on Comedy Central (Wednesdays at 10:30/9:30 C), they do live banter that's filmed in front of an audience in between the sketches. The banter is just as good as the sketches, so if you aren't watching it on television, you're missing out!

As an avid fan of their show, I've watched several of their interviews, I went way back and watched a ton of MADtv clips they were in (two words: Coach Hines), I follow them on social media, and I've even had the pleasure of chatting with them once or twice on Twitter (this one being my favorite lol), which was so awesome. If you don't get the character I'm referencing in my tweet, check out this clip. I dressed as the twin sister of the main character "Wendell" whom I dubbed "Wendellyn" for Halloween. It was amusing.

Aside from them being hilarious, it's worth noting that they are in such a unique position as comedians. I think comedians tend to joke about race in general, but I'm not sure that I've seen many transcend racial boundaries in the same way that Mr. Key and Mr. Peele do in their show. They seem to be very comfortable exploring themes of race. They've been able to portray different ethnicities (as is evidenced by the Wendell clip above), while also probing the depths of "blackness." For example, perhaps one of my favorite clips that analyzes the expectations of how you should carry yourself as a black man is this one:

It's amazing to me how they evaluate different levels of blackness in just 48 seconds. This is what makes their comedy so awesome. It goes beyond just being humorous; it actually contemplates societal issues and normative behaviors (in a sometimes exaggerated way lol). Which brings me to the point of this blog post: levels of blackness.

On their show, they've mentioned they often have to "adjust their level of blackness" depending on who they're with. One of my favorite times they've talked about this is in this interview, which I enjoy because the interviewer brings out the humor of this idea when he asks them "what level of black" they were in that moment. Keegan & Jordan of course go on to make it even more hilarious. But, upon reading the comments from that interview, it appeared to me that some viewers were attributing the "adjustment" to them being biracial. And after chatting with some of my colleagues about the show, it got me to thinking..."adjusting your level of blackness" is a real sociological phenomenon.

I think Keegan & Jordan are absolutely right. When you are a minority, in order to penetrate the dominant culture, I feel that it's a constant game of adjusting how "ethnic" you are in any given moment. And in our society, you have to participate in mainstream culture. Whether we like it or not, even if you're protesting against it or attempting some form of pluralism or assimilation, you're still engaging in a central dialogue. And through that engagement, you are a participant.

I've had experience with this myself, as I mentioned, through simple, non-racialized conversations with my colleagues. For example, I remember talking with one of them (who happens to be named A-Aron...if you got the joke, you are my friend lol) a couple of weeks ago and saying, "I'm really glad we're closer now so I can show you my black side." Now, as you all know, I study French history. I'm one of very few African Americans who do so. Because of that, I'm keenly aware of my blackness when I'm with other Europeanists or historians in general. I addressed this in another post. But when I said this, A-Aron replied, "Really? So...what 'Pam' have you been hiding?" That question really struck me. It's not that I've been hiding per se. Instead, I would posit that in my experience, I have been seen as the example for my race in many instances where I've been the only black person in the room at a history conference, in a class, in a restaurant, or whatever. When it becomes painfully obvious that you are "different," you feel the weight of representation. You are put on display as an exhibit that encompasses the entire African American race. And in those situations, I have felt the need to be overly articulate, overly graceful, overly respectful. (Side note: I actually had a guy say to me one time, "You're great...if all black people were like you, I'd love 'em a lot more." Needless to say, me and that guy don't talk anymore.)

Also, I must say that I don't believe it stops at "blackness." I think it applies to all minorities. That title in and of itself implies a sort of "apart-ness," which makes you cognizant of the fact that you are an "other." And if you are an "other," then there must be some sort of authority that lies at the opposite end of the spectrum. Hence, the majority, the dominant culture. And that culture often may objectify or exoticize your "other-ness."

Now, I'm not arguing that we should leave it at that or accept "othering." That's ridiculous. But I am saying that Key & Peele are making a very valid point about what it means to be a minority in America. Adjusting your level of ethnicity is an actuality for people who are on the periphery of dominance.

I'll stop there because I don't want to make this post too much longer, but please share your thoughts. If you want to see some more really popular Key & Peele sketches, I'd recommend the substitute teacher, Obama's anger translator, or one of my personal favorites, this ultimate fighting match promo.

I'd like to leave you with one of my all-time favorite Key & Peele sketches. This has nothing to do with race, but it's just one of those clips that makes me cry from laughing so hard lol. Enjoy!





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I'm sure there are plenty of sociological studies that discuss "othering" but, since I'm a historian, I don't know those sources lol. The works that I would recommend if you're interested in this historiography would be Edward Said's "Orientalism" or Tim Mitchell's "Colonising Egypt." The former will most likely be the better option for you because it takes more of a sociological approach whereas with Mitchell, outside of the first chapter, you may get lost if you have no background in African history. You've been warned lol.
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