Coat - Thrifted from Village Discount Outlet

Shirt - H&M

Necklace - Akira

Watch - Discovery

Pants - H&M

Shoes - Target

I love the black trimming detail on the collar and pockets of this coat, so when I saw it at the thrift I knew I had to have it. Full disclosure: the coat isn't very warm. I definitely have to layer up when wearing it. But look at that color!

I actually got two little trenches from the thrift recently. They were both under $10!! I'll share the second one in part two of "In the Trenches." In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this little red number as much as I do!

Thanks for reading!! Stay tuned for Part 2!

xoxo,

Pam

Happy New Year everyone!!!

Last night was SO real! I had an absolute blast with my Honey Dip and friends ringing in the New Year in Evanston.

OOTD:

Dress - Discovery

Necklace - Akira

Clutch - Discovery

Arm Candy - Discovery

Booties - Old

This coat is a thrift find! I'll have a post on it soon. It kept me warm all night.

Gotta love a man in a bot-twie (insert heart eye emoji here)

By far my biggest accomplishment of the night was my makeup though. This look was inspired by Cydnee Black. I'd never worked with glitter before and I struggggle with lashes, so this took me a while, but it paid off in the end!

FOTN:

Brows - NYC Brow kit 

Concealer - L'Oreal + NYX

Lips - Custom (Milani Black Cherry + Black Eyeshadow)

Eyes - BH Cosmetics day to night palette + Wet & Wild glitter shadow & lashes

These are the few photos I was able to capture of the night. We were too busy having fun and dancing to bring out the camera. It was so much fun!

And of course, how else to end a night of fun than with Ihop?

NYE 2016 was such an incredible start to the year, filled with laighter, dancing, new friends, VIP treatment, love, and midnight kisses. I am one happy girl right now!

To keep becoming myself, unapologetically.

That's all for now my darlings! Until next time...

Unapologetically,

Pam

xoxo

Life comes at us in ways that we don't expect. You know those moments, situations, and decisions that make or break you? Yeah, life, am I right? Today, I want to share one of those "make or break" stories. I hope you enjoy.

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By the time I was in ninth grade, I already had really low self-esteem. On more than one occasion, I had been called out for being dark skinned. Once in fifth grade, my teacher thought it would be appropriate to use me as an example of "how dark certain tribes of Africa can get." Or there was that one time when my friend's little brother cried and begged his mom not to let me in their car because he could tell by my skin tone that I was "dirty."  

I was also often teased for being heavier than the average ninth-grade girl. Hell, I was already a DD by SEVENTH GRADE for goodness sake. Boys (and girls) at that age were pretty ruthless and I was constantly being informed that because of my dark skin and larger figure, I was ugly. On top of that, the media was always there in the background, providing few examples of women who looked like me and more women who looked like Angelina Jolie or Beyonce. Either way, I was losing.

So, by ninth grade, I felt pretty terrible about myself. But, I managed to mask it really well. Until one day in September 2002 that I'll never forget.

School had just recently begun and I was still learning my way around the "big kids campus." I was pretty shy and often quiet unless I was around friends. I remember I was wearing an orange shirt that day and I was self-conscious of it. I didn't like wearing bright colors. I was quietly walking up the stairs in between classes, books in my arm, calculating the path to my next class when all of a sudden, an upper-class male student (who also happened to be dark-skinned) started screaming at me in the stairwell. At first I had no idea what was happening or who he was talking to, as I was minding my own business and alone. When I realized he was screaming at me, my heart sank.

"Ugggggghhhh, look at this UGLY, FAT, BLACK B*TCH!" He yelled, his friends snickering around him. "GET OUT OF THE F***ING WAY!"

"I...I'm..." I stuttered, trying to comprehend what was happening.

"WHAT?!?!?" He yelled, "YOUR FAT A** CAN'T MOVE??!?!" His friends continued to laugh in the background. In a panic, I looked around for help. No one I knew was nearby, but there was a glimmer of hope when I noticed a few upper-class girls shaking their heads at his ignorance. Nevertheless, while I could see sympathy in their eyes, no one came to my defense.

Finally, I managed to whisper a soft, "Whatever..." as he continued his tirade against me. I held my head up high and marched up the stairs in a dignified manner. After all, I'd always been taught to never let anyone see me weak or hurt. The mask of, "Whatever, I'm fine" was easy to put on, but really, my legs felt like jelly. I thought the entire high school could feel my tremors of shock and shame. I finally stumbled my way into a secluded bathroom on the second floor. I cried my eyes out for a solid 5 minutes. I looked in the mirror and I hated who I was. I wished I could snap my fingers and become light-skinned. I hated the girl I saw. I wished I looked different, that my skin wasn't so...dirty.

The teasing continued past ninth grade. And with each incident, my self-loathing grew. I remember one day, crying to my mom about it, and she told me,

"Those same guys who make fun of you 

will be the same one's after you later. Wait and see." 

Fast forward to 2009. By that time, I was growing into my own as a woman. I started to love my dark skin (and now, I'm in love with the skin I'm in!). I lost the baby fat and unexpectedly developed curves! I remember posting a photo from my 21st birthday that year, and wouldn't you know it, that night I got a friend request in my Facebook inbox. And it was him. The guy who yelled at me in the stairwell in ninth grade. I accepted his request and immediately got a direct message from him: "Hey, what's up Pam. Damn girl, you're looking good! I was wondering if you'd like to hang out some time?"

Cheers to getting over the hump, baby girl. Cheers to becoming all of who we are, unapologetically.

#loveyourself  #embraceyourself  #becomeyourself